


That's No Way To Say Goodbye

by phantomlistener



Category: Doctor Who & Related Fandoms
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-30
Updated: 2013-04-30
Packaged: 2017-12-10 01:17:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/780098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phantomlistener/pseuds/phantomlistener
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Standing in the rain, Liz Shaw says goodbye to her husband for the last time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	That's No Way To Say Goodbye

She feels everything and nothing, and it doesn't even cross her mind that this is impossible. The people standing round her are a blur of names and faces - they mean well, but there's nothing they'll ever be able to do for her - and even Sarah's gentle hand on her arm is anonymous.  
  
There's nothing any more.  
  
Everything she had is lying in front of her beneath the flower-covered coffin lid.  
  
Somehow it's taken her this long to realise she'll never hear his voice again, and she thinks that maybe she'll forever look up when a door opens, expecting him to come through and take her in his arms like he used to.  
  
There's a light rain falling but she wouldn't care even if she noticed. All her concentration is on staying upright and vaguely composed when what she really wants to do is fall to her knees at the graveside and sob, but if she does that she might never get up again - and besides, he always hated a fuss.  
  
There'll be time for that when she's alone.  
  
She throws a handful of dirt of top of the coffin.  
  
It hits with an audible thud, and that's when it comes crashing down on her: she's lost him, irrevocably and forever, and no amount of time will ever dull the pain of that knowledge.  
  
She stands frozen next to the open grave, unable to think anything other than how desperately she wants him back. A hand takes hers and tries to pull her away but she refuses to move and eventually people start to leave. She ignores their condolences. Her control won't last much longer and she wants - needs - to be alone when it finally shatters. Pressing one hand against her mouth to keep herself from crying, she takes a trembling step backwards, and then another, and another, until her back hits what must be another gravestone.  
  
Sliding down to the ground against it, she buries her head in her arms and sobs for her husband.  
  


* * *

  
Two months later, she feels the pain of his absence as acutely as she did that first day after the funeral.  
  
Science is what occupies her mind now. It's almost a reversion to the days of her youth. She half expected it to have no meaning, hold no interest in the face of Alistair's death, but she delights in it as much as she ever did, and it's become obvious that her career is far from over.  
  
She gets along fine without him.  
  
People probably think she's moving on, coming to terms with it, but they don't know that she cries herself to sleep almost every night. They don't know that she misses him so, so much that it feels like a part of her heart has disappeared.  
  
Maybe she's too old to move on.  
  
In the end, she reflects, she simply doesn't want to. After all, she's strong on her own. It's just that she was so much stronger with him.


End file.
